okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS
(via rozlachimmer)
Source: lokisgloriouspenis
Ah Jason, he is a total legend. Yes, our first ever meeting in the lobby of a Belfast hotel did start by him rugby tackling me to the floor yelling “WIFEY!!”
- Emilia Clarke
(via buffyluver)
Source: cottoncandy-dreams
that terrifying feeling when you are finishing a book and THERE AREN’T ENOUGH PAGES LEFT FOR ALL OF THE THINGS THAT NEED TO HAPPEN.
(via sophiesjulien)
Source: walkingtothesoundofyourfeet
Source: apalaceforjasmine
That's beautiful, Katie: i can never go shopping with my mum again
we were browsing in a bookshop and i drifted to the other side of the store and left my mum to her own devices for like five seconds and i turn around to glance back at her only to find her picking up fifty shades of grey from a shelf
the thing you need to know about my mum is she’s not like all the other mum’s who have bought and read the book. she is quaint and innocent and doesn’t even know what smut or raunch means. she thinks sex before marriage is a no-no and she has a fit when she sees guys with their trousers down so low their boxers show
i’m pretty sure my birth was a miraculous conception
so just imagine my horror for a second as i see her open the book, blissfully unaware of the contents
imagine, if you will, a nineteen year old literally hurling herself across the store, shrieking “MUM NO” with an arm outstretched ready to punch the book forcefully out of her hands
passersby are shoved out of the way, indignant retorts are made, but the nineteen year old doesn’t care because she’s got to move so fast she makes the speed of light her bitch otherwise her mum is going to read about christian piledriving the shit out of anastasia
but the nineteen year old doesn’t quite make it
her mum lets out a horrified gasp and exclaims ‘NIPPLES?!’
other people glance over their shoulders, notice the book in her grasp and shake their heads in disapproval
the nineteen year old comes to a stand still, everything seems to go in slow motion as she watches her mum turn to look at her, confusion and shock written all over her face as she whispers, again,
……’nipples?’
Source: thedeathlymarshmallows
I’ve really missed Finn this episode
(via spencecarlin)
Source: mygirlbrittany
the sheep characters lack substance and the pigs are hard to relate to
(via myarmsareridiculous)
Source: litglutton
11 DRUNK MEN COMMENTATING SLENDER
THIS HAS TO BE THE MOST ENTERTAINING VIDEO OF SLENDER GAMEPLAY EVER. I’VE NEVER HARD FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES. THIS MADE MY EVENING.
(via foxbabies)
Source: verylikelypingu
okay but an example of why we need better sex education in schools is the story of how I lost my virginity
i’ve included illustrations to further illustrate what im trying to illustrate to u today
(via randomotaku)
Source: rexuality
I went
to public school.
i lost it after attempt 510 omfg
SWISS FUCKING CHEESE GOD DAMMIT!!! BAHAHAHAHA
OMFG I’M CRYING
(via blackoutninja)
Source: kidxforever
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when you see it, you will reblog.
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Source: panaotizz
